My Why

June 7, 2015: the six of us after Sophia's
baptism. I started the 21DFX eight days later.

Six months ago, if someone told me I would be involved with in-home fitness, I’d have laughed — not a polite chortle, but a full out, catch startled looks from passers-by belly laugh. So, what changed? What was behind this sudden, radical change in direction?

Getting started as an Independent Team Beachbody Coach, I was told over and over to think about, and focus on, my why. The why is the point around which you orient yourself and what keeps you motivated. This is an attempt to explain mine. 

This summer started tough for me. I’ve struggled with body image issues my whole life. Four kids in five and a half years had given any remaining self-esteem quite a beating. It had taken a while, but after each child before, I had been able to lose the baby weight. This last time was different. Even though I was nursing, even though I was eating healthy food, the weight would not come off. 

There were emotional issues as well. I spent all of my time taking care of everyone else, but none on me. I was feeling very neglected and over-looked, like a second-class member of my own family. Don’t get me wrong, Darren is very involved with the kids and does more than his fair share around here, but if you’re neglecting yourself, no amount of effort by someone else is going to make you feel better.

Already feeling lonely and depressed, avoiding my reflection, I was devastated when my weight started to slowly tick back up. That’s when I got a message asking if I wanted to join an online group working through the 21 Day Fix EXREME. I had known this person was involved in Beachbody for a while. I’d seen all the posts, even reacted negatively to some of them. It was rooted in my own insecurity and jealously. “She’s always been thin,” or “Sure, she can do it, she only has two kids.” 

Any other time, I would have given an immediate no, but she caught me at a real low point. I needed to make a change, and there she was, offering just that. I’d just had a baby; so had she, and she was already having awesome results. I’d seen the pictures.

I wanted to do it but was holding back. First, it was going to cost $140! I rarely spend that kind of money on myself, and Darren was laid off from his job. We talked it over, and he convinced me this was something I should do for myself. 

Then, a new fear took hold. What if I failed? What if I spent this money, invested all this time and energy, and it didn’t work? Then what? What if I did nothing? Well, then I’d keep getting fatter and become even sadder. 

Doing nothing was worse. I said yes! It has been awesome. My Beachbody Coach — the one I’d had such a resentful attitude toward in the past — is amazing. She believed in me before I even believed in myself. She took pride in, not just accomplishments, but in my honest effort, even before there was anything to show for it. She has gone from someone I knew tangentially, to someone I would consider a friend. 

I’ve also had positive, fun interaction with the others in the group, people I’d have never otherwise known. They opened my eyes to just how hard people work to be fit and healthy. Everyone faces their own unique challenges, some you would never expect, and they find a way to work through them. It has been a humbling and motivation experience, and it has helped me to grow as a person. 

When I started, I had not shared my goals with anyone. Not even Darren knew what I was working toward. I hadn’t told anyone, because I didn’t actually believe I could do it. I wanted to lose 30 pounds. After one round of 21DFX, I’d lost seven pounds, which was a little disappointing, because I’d been hoping for 10. It wasn’t until my before and after pictures got mixed up, and I couldn’t tell them apart, that I really lost heart. I bawled my eyes out, completely crushed! Darren did what he could, and my coach and the rest of the group was there to build me back up. I did a second round. After a third round I was down 25 pounds. 

As I write this, there is one day left of my seventh round, and I have almost hit the 40-pound mark. I’ve gone from feeling self conscious in a too-snug XL to confidently wearing a medium shirt. In my entire adult life, I have never worn a medium shirt. 

It’s funny how, when you make the commitment to take care of yourself, other things fall in line as well. I went to the dentist for the first time since Darren and my wedding. I hadn’t meant to let it go that long, but life got busy and there was always something seemingly more important, so I put myself on the back burner time and time again. It feels so good to look in the mirror and think, “I did that,” instead of, “Look what has happened to me.” 

I am a different person than I was six months ago, and I am so grateful to my Beachbody Coach for all she did to make that happen. That is my why. I want to be for others what she was for me — the one who says, “You can! I believe in you, and I will help you.” 

If you are even remotely interested in Beachbody, or if all you know is, you need to make a change, I would love to talk to you about it. I want to help you find the same sense of worth and accomplishment I have. We can figure out what your goals are and how you can get there. If you’re feeling shy, or just want to do a little independent research, I do have a website, www.beachbodycoach.com/nickoledahl.

Nickole Dahl is an Independent Beachbody Coach