Cricket in a Biscuit

Chatting with a friend today, I was reminded of something I hadn't thought of in a while, the saving power of a baby's first smile. Being a first time mom is hard — soul-crushing, overwhelming and desperately hard — especially if you're the first one in your family or friend group to have kids. You're tired and sore, totally clueless and nobody in your immediate circle really knows what you're feeling. You want so badly to get it right, but the baby can only cry, which makes a new mom feel as though they are getting it all wrong. There is no positive feedback, whatsoever. A newborn can't even really maintain eye contact. Soft snores are about the only indicator you haven't screwed up within the last five minutes. Then there is the hesitance to say anything, because we are supposed to be so happy and so in love, like our whole world is wrapped in rose colored gauze. Me as a new mom, holding on for dear life. It doesn't  seem possible this was ...

Let me tell you about this kid, my Laney Bug. She is the quietest of the bunch, so sometimes she's drowned out by all the noise. She needs me the least, so sometimes I forget she does  need me. Let me tell you something else about this kid. She is all heart.  The kids each have a little treasure box, a place to put their found objects, small trinkets with value only they can understand. Yesterday Laney asked me if I knew which thing in her treasure box made her the most sad. I was a little surprised she would keep something that made her sad, and had no idea what it could be.  When we went up for bath, she showed me what it was, a tiny turtle bead she had found, about as long as a grain of rice. It was cute. I asked why it made her sad. Her voice caught and her eyes welled up. She was worried the person who lost it might still be looking, unable to find it. The thought was almost too much to bear.  Sometimes I think she feels what others feel more ac...

Some days I wear makeup. Most days I don't. But you can be sure, on the days I do, Laney notices and responds with enthusiasm, which, of course, horrifies Darren. There are those with really strong objections to little girls having any exposure to makeup whatsoever. Concerns include worries over turning girls into divas or skewing their views on real beauty and their self worth. Some believe makeup is simply inappropriate for young girls. My formative years were spent in an anti-makeup household. At the same time, I had girl cousins raised in a very different environment. My aunties applied daily, and I remember my cousins having real compacts to play with. Then there are my cousins in dance. They were wearing makeup at a very young age. So far, we've all turned out alright. I started wearing makeup when I could afford to buy it. I stopped when it didn't fit my life anymore. I guess that's what I want for Laney, an eh, whatever kind of attitude. While makeup can...

"What is the point?!" I would imagine most parents have thought — or yelled — this question more than once in their daily life. I was there today, wondering why I put in so much effort for what appears to be zero return. I had two objectives for the day: make a book bag for Laney to bring to story time at the library tomorrow, and fly kite with the kids. Sounds simple enough, but beginning a project seems to be the the cue for my normally independent and decently behaved children to turn into clingy little savages. They climbed on the table; ripped down the window shade; engaged in mortal combat over crayons, of which there is no shortage — trust me; and threw a half dozen whiny fits over stickers. All before lunch. After our lunch of sandwiches and twice-spilled milk, we walked to our perfect kite flying spot and had some fun. For a few minutes. As I was loading Grumplestiltskin in the stroller for an early trip home, I was wondering again, "What is the point?!...

Our first round of potty training was tough (and ongoing). Between starting too early, regression when Oliver was born, and "accidents" for attention, in addition to all the regular difficulties, it was stressful for everyone. So, I resolved to wait this time around. Oliver, however, had other plans.  A few days ago he became obsessed with the potty chair. I moved it out of sight, which only made him more desperate for it. I decided to humor him by sitting him down on it with his pants on. Not good enough. Wednesday afternoon, I gave in. When he got up from his nap, he was demanding the potty again. I set him up there, and he spent the next fifteen minutes laughing and doing his business. Between then and bedtime, he used the potty three more times, and whizzed on my floor once. The successes continue, but I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. First he gives up his pacifier, and now he's using the potty. He is growing much too fast. I've actually been w...

I'm not one of those parents averse to telling my kids no, but if there is a better way, I'm open to that as well. It may not be the most beautiful currency ever  issued, but she recognized the back as a DVD. The movie rule in our house was one a day, until I discovered Laney behaves much better when she watches no movies at all. And, with summer coming, I was pretty much resolved to curb the TV time anyway. The only thing unresolved was the best strategy. Inspiration struck while grocery shopping with the realization Laney is fascinated by the idea of paying for things. The hubby and I decided three movies per week was fair, so that Friday I issued my own currency. Three tokens per week which she can use to buy a movie. I had high hopes, even thinking it might teach her a lesson in budgeting. The only worry was how she would react once her tokens were gone. The first week played out pretty much as expected. She spent her money in the first three days. The fourth d...